Rest In Paradise Bryan Abrams<3.
This whole thing has ripped me apart, and I’ve never spoken to you in my life. We did grow up together though, you went to my elementary and middle school, and you were pretty well-known. I never heard anything bad about you. To know that you felt so alone and out of place to take your own life makes me cry and cry and cry. It pains me to know you were hurting so bad to go to this extent. Everyone loves you Bryan, and at school it’s an emotional walk through the hallways. Watching everyone cry and be depressed. You are missed terribly, you always will be. And for everyone saying “Oh I didn’t know him so I can’t say anything”, I understand, but he was a part of our family at school and we lost him. I will keep my prayers and thoughts with the family, friends and girlfriend of Bryan. I cannot even imagine the pain they feel, and the sadness. Oh, and to the disgusting low-life FUCKS that took a picture of him and sent it around, you will get yours. I hope you both get your faces beaten in, and rot in jail. It’s called respect, and that’s something our generation lacks TREMENDOUSLY. But listen, anyone who is reading this, you are loved by someone. Don’t ever hesitate to talk to someone, especially me. I will be here for anybody. You can save somebody’s life by just a hug or a “I’m here for you”. Suicide is not the answer. You’re heart is beating, you are so lucky to be alive. Don’t take that for granted. And don’t take anybody in your life for granted, they could be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. Watch down over us Bryan, we’re all going to need it. <3
Either try to help yourself, or consider our friendship done. I’m so over this bullshit, it happens everyday. There’s only so much I can take, and it’s real old. Grow the fuck up and realize how you set yourself up for all your stress. I really wonder who will grow up after graduation.. I really do.
Senioritis..
Well, as much as I’ve said I don’t wanna graduate, I am SO ready. The people are ridiculous, and having to go and deal with them everyday is annoying. I have such a bad case of senioritis. I’m saying this now, but I guarantee the day of graduation I cry my eyes out and say I’ll miss it.
I hate it, I HATE IT. I hate my body, everything about it. Fuck all the fit girls who complain that they’re fat, shut the fuck up. Now I understand what’s adding to my stress. The way I look, the way I feel about myself. I look in the mirror and look away in disgust. My stomach is fat, my arms are fat, my legs are fat, everything. I go out to buy new clothes and I never buy any. Why? Because I’m afraid to show off my body. Everyday I wear a hoodie and jeans. Same,fucking,thing. EVERYDAY. I hate it. And when I go to upgrade my wardrobe I can’t. I can’t wear tight fitting shirts, I can’t wear certain pants because my thighs rub. I come out of Ross tonight, and I can’t even begin to tell you the sadness that overcame me. I am sitting here in my room balling my eyes out as I type this. My Mom tells me that if I want to change my body to excercise and do things to help myself. And that I should. But everytime I try I can’t stick to it. I’m always busy or tired. My body is constantly exhausted and I always feel like I’m going to pass out because of my past illness. I’m so sick and tired of doing this, and crying because of this. I wanna be able to wear tight fitting clothes, I don’t wanna feel like I have to hide myself under a jacket or hoodie. It’s torturing me, I’m tearing myself up. This pain is something I can no longer handle, I’m so sick and tired of it. I compare myself with every girl that walks by. I just wanna be able to wear what I want and be comfortable in it. I’m 150 lbs, if you’re 120 or under stop fucking complaining and saying you’re fat to get attention. IT’S FUCKING ANNOYING. How do you think that makes girls like me feel… :””(</3. So upset right now.
That empty, lonely feeling I had for so long, it’s gone. No more crying, no more pain, no more sorrow. I found someone who took it all away. He makes me smile everyday. I am finally happy, and that’s all I’ve wanted. :)
I just want to find somebody. That’s all I’m asking for..
I can’t fucking get through to you. There’s only so much I can do. Please, just stop. I don’t deserve to deal with this. And you are dragging it out so much more than it fucking should be. Just stop… You’re hurting me and everyone who loves you.
This is so much harder than I thought. Love can break you, it can break you more than once. I just want to be okay, I just… I don’t even know what I want anymore.
